deepundergroundpoetry.com
A beast in the night
There's a beast.
He only prowls at night.
Feasting on the souls of lovers.
Zombies they become.
Crawling in the depths of the night.
Looking, for someone new.
Limbs of the deceased scattered.
A young man.
His next victim.
Dragged into the arms of the beast.
Eaten alive.
Another soul, gone.
We must stop this beast.
Before our race is gone.
One by one, into the stomach of this beast.
Men, women of all ages.
He cannot be stopped.
He only prowls at night.
Feasting on the souls of lovers.
Zombies they become.
Crawling in the depths of the night.
Looking, for someone new.
Limbs of the deceased scattered.
A young man.
His next victim.
Dragged into the arms of the beast.
Eaten alive.
Another soul, gone.
We must stop this beast.
Before our race is gone.
One by one, into the stomach of this beast.
Men, women of all ages.
He cannot be stopped.
Published 5th Jul 2011
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5th Jul 2011 6:28am
Like the idea, it feels like a new concept and execution. My only problem with this is actually quite a common problem, the wording, I'd like some new, inventive metaphors, analogies. Odd little abnormal things, you'd be surprised what works. Like for instance, describing your lovers heart as a tire-iron or something, it's odd, not common, new, the reader gleams from the description what they may. I think you have great promise nevertheless. Good job. :D
BTW, I'm a zombie fan, haha. ;)
BTW, I'm a zombie fan, haha. ;)
