You're Killing Me Here

I cry for you in my sleep,
but you take no notice.
You can't feel my touch, nor taste the tears.
When did this fear define me?
I make no move, don't even breathe.
The panic pulls me under.
I half-ass hold my breath,
half-heartedly hope I won't drown.
The chill creeps down my throat like ice water.
I smell the cold.I don't fight the shudders racking my chest.
I accept the pain that follows.
Colors swim and sounds amplify.
The fault line on my heart shifts.
You don't see my struggle.
Yes babe, you hurt me.
So many times over and yet I crawl back for more.
You've put terror in my mind.
I can't escape it's attacks.
Please baby, I need air, I need you.
The cold comes and you warm me.
You hold me underwater until the bubbles stop,
then hold me in your arms as I try to breathe again.