So Fucking Deep

Just leave me here
I want to rot
I need to feel the worms and maggots building their nests in my lungs
I long to be nothing and feel everything
Something or nothing is just how life goes
You can go with the flow
I don't mind if I sink
Just let me be and release me from my prison
The torture of wanting to live,
But always dying inside
Always begging for the next time you fall to arrive much sooner than expected
The adrenaline is so much
You cause my chest to cave in
I'd let the bats live in their if the dark seraphs wouldn't eat their souls first
The way it has unto mine
The little cells of my body try and they try
To rebuild as I self destruct
But I pull the skin a little tighter
Just to stop and
Just to hinder the growth of life
Just to violently strangle myself into a deep sleep
I let the blood run
Oh but I return
I always return to this sack of bones
This never ending heartless carcass
I've missed you