Endless

Searching.
Non-stop.
Hours upon hours of endless looking.
Walking.....for miles.
No car cause the money was long spent.
Your job?
Gone, cause you cant keep your fingers where they need to be.
The constant itch causing them to feed into the impulses your brain unknowingly sends to them.
You cant stop it, because before you know it its done.
The inside of you doesnt reflect on the out,
Because the real you is on the inside trying to claw their way out.
To rip apart this outer shell they call you, but its not.
Your screaming inside,
But no one can hear you.
Your hoarse voice can barely be heard by your own ears.
But what does it matter?
The poisonous words that flow from your lips have long been ignored.
But you know its not you....its not you.
The demons on your inside have taken over,
Controlling every aspect of your life.
Throwing everything worth something out of your door.
Walking.....
Trying to find that substance that fills your need.
That drink to fill your cup, cause lord knows a cup half full isnt enough.
Your veins hate you.
Every needle inserted screaming at you to stop,
But theyre silenced by the numbness that follows.
DAD!!!
What are you doing?
Your children screaming at the top of their lungs.
Breathless.
Face red from the empty words thrown at you.
Every no and every stop,
Every tear pleading with you to get your life together.
But you dont care.
Because your glorious white wife is always there for you regardless of the angry words spoken through your familys lips.
Empty.
Black consumes your vision and you wake up to morning.
Another meaningless day.
Walking.
Searching.
To find your fill.
Despite the rumbles that rupture from your childs stomach.
Their hollow cheeks have no meaning to you.
As long as you fill your need,
Theirs comes next.
Empty fridge,
Green bread,
And cabinets full of dust.
But who are you to care, right?
The only thing that matters to you is your angel dust.
The type of angel dust that makes you feel heaven on earth as your eyes roll into the back of your head.
Grocery money in your pocket again,
Kids at home alone, nothing new.
Just another part of the daily routine when daddy leaves to go hunting.
On a highway to nowhere as your life goes down the drain.
Lost.
In your own world full of nothingness.
Trap house full of dope is where you find your purpose.
The constant shakes subside as the sweet sweet medicine invades your body once again.
Your demons sucking it in as if they didnt just have it yesterday.
But yesterday seems so far away.
Its not enough so you put in more.
Its not enough.
Its not enough!
Its never enough!
Your worthless tears have no purpose as they glide down your cheeks.
Black....deep dark black.
Light....
Warm bed.
Cold feet.
Pounding headache.
Dry, horrid tasting tongue.
Eyes open and a smile.
Sweet blue eyes and a pretty round face.
Welcoming you back to the world you almost left.
But the itch is still there,
And you sit up...
You're not done yet..