Tatters

I haven't felt that innocent floating feeling in over two years ,
A taste a singular hit now and again barley keeping me alive yet leaving me acheing for more ,
Those eyes again and again all of different varieties stabbing my inner peace ripping me apart from my core simply to grasp the words ,
To hear me gasp for air in hope this time I'll get that so desired fix of the sweet inocent Romance of my previous years after speaking the words and them saying it back eagerly,
They don't mean it,
No matter how loud no matter how often it's not with pure intent it's for entertainments sake ,
Like a five dollar camera you take your twenty five  shots of happiness develop the film them dump me away,
I try my best to go on in this world of plastic intentions and wannabe hallmark moments wondering why it has to be like this ,
Why is it hard to find someone who isn't a fake ,
Someone into it not looking for just a status or hookup,
I am not the moans in the night you use me for ,
The way you pass your time ,
A way to vent your sexual and emotional frustration,
I'm a hopeless romantic in a modern world that In my view is romantically hopeless.
Who knows though it could happen tomorrow.