Don't

A sleepy mind
as my throat tightens around whether I’m better unattached
my limbs shrink
make tiny melted shapes as they liquify on the tracks
was the rabbit in the headlights brave or stupid
I fall fiercely between want and wandering
the appeal of your sensibility against my fear of losing sense all together
and longing throughout for that which you cannot provide.

Terrors dream silently
and woken to the cradle I knew when equally as lost
childlike states
take away my pain

I've broken with no culprit or cause and no means for repair
beg my mind that I might again be whole
until it gapes open and lets another in
and I have to tear through tissue and nerves
detach thoughts
until the most beautiful spiralling holes are left, bloodied and endless
for me to fall upon and flinch at
until I eventually hollow out all on my own.