deepundergroundpoetry.com
Careening
I am blind without evolution,
Falling hopelessly into dissolution.
A contribution with no distribution,
Only with singularity lies retribution.
A revolution of meaning,
Through the science of machining.
A leaning towards intervening.
My descent anew; careening.
Falling hopelessly into dissolution.
A contribution with no distribution,
Only with singularity lies retribution.
A revolution of meaning,
Through the science of machining.
A leaning towards intervening.
My descent anew; careening.
Published 29th Jun 2011
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29th Jun 2011 6:31pm
It feels like this is part of another poem rather than a stand alone piece, and the ryhme is a little forced. Be careful with gerunds and latinate words. They disturb flow and cause lines to melt into each other. Is the poem abut something specific or a general feeling? If it is
general relate it to something tangible(It works for me). If it is about something specific make sure the reader can pick up on it.
*Out of what I said you know what is helpful and what isnīt better than anyone. These are just some things I noticed.
And welcome!
general relate it to something tangible(It works for me). If it is about something specific make sure the reader can pick up on it.
*Out of what I said you know what is helpful and what isnīt better than anyone. These are just some things I noticed.
And welcome!
