Before Things Were Blown Apart

You took my hand in yours
Like it is a ritual you do every day.
I can spend many years
Like this and I want to say
That very thing but I do not
Want to ruin this moment of peace.
I want to ignore the knot
In my stomach, telling me to cease
And retreat to where there is no worry
To hide my feelings from your scrutiny.
I do not want you to see that my eyes are blurry
From the hidden tears although it is your duty
To ask what is wrong. I keep those memories before
Things were blown apart. Those are the moments
Where you cared and I did not see like a bore
To you. I must have missed the omen
While I was looking and searching,
But did not find it in the midst of all the good things.
Everything inside of me was hurting
Because it felt like all of my limbs
Were being torn apart
And tossed into the trash pile.
I did not want to lose my heart
Over you because with every smile
And laugh I was losing a fight
That I knew would not be over.
Everything was in flight
And I am going to be feeling that hangover
When I wake up in the morning.
That does not feel like a dream anymore
Because it feels a forewarning
To the reality and being washed up on shore.
With you I do not want to feel this endless confusion
And doubts. You may change your mind later down
The road. For now, it is all just an illusion.
By then I’ll be nothing but a ghost town.
I will still exist with or without you.
The ball is in your court.
I refuse for you to make me feel blue
And undesired. I will not thwart
My plans and future waiting
On you. I need you to hear
My thoughts. Do not go wasting
My time. I do not need you to reappear
And disappoint me again.
The chances are running out.
I am not going continue to be your drain.
I am done figuring out what you are all about.
I know you are figuring things out in your life
But I am done hanging onto you. Be that guy
Who lets me go because you care. Let go of the knife
And let me say that this is only a temporary goodbye.