normal you ask ?

what is normal anyway ?
I don't for one minute think I am anything but a freak
I cant back up my own convictions, I am weak
I wear the personas of crafted illusions
live in my make believe world of twisted delusions
view others as the freaks
because they don't fit into my world
they speak , but I am not aware of their voice and odd stare
I am a manikin , Cinderella, rockafella, a poet, a thief
a walking talking contradiction of grief
I am emanceated in my hunger to fit in
fat but thin, tall but small, fuck you all
love me , I hate you, hold me close, don't touch me
want to want me, don't you dare look
poke fun at the strange one, and when you are done
I will smile, stare a while, then cut my wrists
sit while I bleed all my complications out of me
spill all the shit of a lifetime onto the floor
help me not, I am tired of playing life,s whore
normal you ask ?

I pout my lips , gesture a kiss
and die !