deepundergroundpoetry.com
A FACEBOOK MESSAGE I SOMETIMES DESPERATELY WANT TO SEND
I wish I had experienced you
Inside and out
When I had the chance
You wanted me
I wanted you
We were naked and wet
From the hot tub
And then we were interrupted
And that was that
No taste, no feel, no smell
To savor in memorium
Only the memory of you
Going out of your way to apologize
For something that never happened
Let me ask:
How do you
Remember that night?
Inside and out
When I had the chance
You wanted me
I wanted you
We were naked and wet
From the hot tub
And then we were interrupted
And that was that
No taste, no feel, no smell
To savor in memorium
Only the memory of you
Going out of your way to apologize
For something that never happened
Let me ask:
How do you
Remember that night?
Published 31st Dec 2015
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comments 5
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
1st Jan 2016 1:02am
Welcome to DU!! Very intriguing write.......I like this a lot.....looking forward to more xo :)
1st Jan 2016 2:50am
I love the matter-of-fact language of the poem and how it gives weight to importance of the situation. I also really liked the way the hot tub line hit, standing in contrast to the "naked and wet" line that preceded it. Nice write.
4th Jan 2016 8:18pm
Thank you flowergirl and moe0303. Hadn't thought about that, moe, when writing, but I think I must have intuitively meant to write it that way.
11th Sep 2018 4:34am
I quite like the last part of this write. The question asked in a way makes the narrator question what truly happened. Maybe her perspective was completely different or perhaps she feels the same like longing.
Wonderful write!
Wonderful write!
11th Sep 2018 4:37am
