you think you know

you think I enjoy this?
you think I'm having a good time?
you think I like sticking this needle in my arm.
Boy are you wrong.
I hate this life and what iv become, this is the opposite of fun, this is my own personal hell that I cant seem to escape.
I glance in the mirror and there goes my day, I'm now sick to my stomach.
I live with the fear that ill never be able to escape the life I'm living, ill never be able to be happy with myself or who I am. its like its taken over me and everything I once was, it has a terrifying grip on the person iv become and it wont let go.
I was pretty once before, long blonde hair nice teeth and a glow you could see across the room , now my hair is dull and thin, my smile isn't what it was before and that glow was replaced with a pale and scabbed up face.
it makes me sick to think about the person I used to be.
so tell me one more time that I enjoy this life and that I'm having a good time.
ill let you walk a day in my shoes and youll see its not all fun and games, its not what you think at all.
its a life that will take a tight grip on you and who you are, even if you think oh no no no, not me.
and ill tell ya now youll be considered lucky if you make it out alive and free from its sick and twisted ways.