you know nothing of me

Been writing like a mad man
 Trying to finish this book/novel/biography/poetry.
 That's been most of my day for a while now,
Also, I'm kinda in a mid life crisis at least I feel like,
Life and all its horrors suddenly crept up on me,
Consuming me in a smoldering blanket of darkness
i couldn't even face me , look at myself in the mirror, or even bare to think of anything
Especially my demons staring back at me, opening my eyes at one point was terrorizing me.
Contorted dis-formed and ugly only a demon I seen looking back at me .
falling from any amount of grace i ever had or thought i had
the screams of angry men beating me and sounds of little sisters
crying in agony , she  looks to me while defiled in misery .
screaming dragged away from me,
her nails snap off clawing the carpet trying to get to me
the screams they echo in me .
often for days they left the boy in a garage
with a pissed stained mattress and no food or water
he would bang on things mumble things turn on the fan and sit close
because when it got quite he could still hear her
even from the garage he could hear them
hear pure evil men laughing and chuckling
while they fucked his little sister without mercy
when they were done they would come and get me
tell me my sisters sick and i need to do something
blood soaked her panties i couldn't understand
i was 6 and she was 7
this went on and on
until they came
the sheriffs and worthless cps
 they saved that  day
hooray
what about the 4 previous years
i guess they were a little late
now i live constantly in pain .
i didn't choose my fate
i just have to fake a smile everyday
and pretend my life's ok
and  theses fucking humans
want me play like its ok
fuck you go away now
 or i will fucking fillet you.
making you pay for all the sins committed
from other evil flesh bags
believe me when i unleash the other sinister pen inside me
the most dark , evil and sadistic of me
it takes straight killers to there to there knees
with the hate i bring ,
wide eyed looking at me
they say fuck man.. i thought i was crazy
while they hold a bloody knife and stand over a dead body