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Senryu: SEX TALK
1
night sweats—
I give you my fever,
you'll thank me later
2
tongue dance—
you linger indefinitely,
hellooo down there
3
the longer denied
the better the taste—
got milk?
4
make-up sex—
I can't remember a thing,
that's how good it was
5
morning haze—
how long did we do it
four days? sore for days
© 2015-2016 Jade Pandora
night sweats—
I give you my fever,
you'll thank me later
2
tongue dance—
you linger indefinitely,
hellooo down there
3
the longer denied
the better the taste—
got milk?
4
make-up sex—
I can't remember a thing,
that's how good it was
5
morning haze—
how long did we do it
four days? sore for days
© 2015-2016 Jade Pandora
Published 14th Dec 2015
| Edited 5th Jan 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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14th Dec 2015 11:42am
LMAO! I loved the playful whimsy of them all ... #2 truly made me chuckle - and the word play on #5 is wonderful.
Bravo!
Bravo!
Aww thanks very much, Lobo, I'm glad you picked up on the playfulness (senryu is very often known for humor of every kind, and also sexual themes), though I guess you can't really miss it, heh. And yes, the wordplay, that's something many modern poets of the short form forget is often done, just like you see in my #5. All kinds of gymnastics if you will. And speaking of sex... I mean... hey, get down and give me 25 push-ups! *chuckles*
Intu shoo dukhluk uslun Hidy 6ukey btu18 nusaween. (Abbas Unnoory). Bab al6ara.
14th Dec 2015 1:38pm
Please write me a brief piece interpret of simplest set Theo ry para ......paradox .
tongue dance -
but I am not finished yet,
and neither are you!
Did that work? I'm usually quick at figuring out the subtleties, the nuance. People tell me I have a talent, but it's always awkward the first time, and that was my first attempt... at a Senryū...
but I am not finished yet,
and neither are you!
Did that work? I'm usually quick at figuring out the subtleties, the nuance. People tell me I have a talent, but it's always awkward the first time, and that was my first attempt... at a Senryū...
Ooohhhh, if that's your first, Geoff, you've got my vote for the next three terms... *feels faint*
p.s. btw, in both senryu and tanka, you can use punctuation as you have done, yes yes yes...
ah, and no need for caps at the start of a line...
I kept making little edits to my response and each time I did I reread your senryu and I must say, it got me um... well I started to feel um...
hmm, do I really talk like that I wonder, but I've got something going on that I'm definitely feeling. Did I say that out loud?
p.s. btw, in both senryu and tanka, you can use punctuation as you have done, yes yes yes...
ah, and no need for caps at the start of a line...
I kept making little edits to my response and each time I did I reread your senryu and I must say, it got me um... well I started to feel um...
hmm, do I really talk like that I wonder, but I've got something going on that I'm definitely feeling. Did I say that out loud?
14th Dec 2015 2:29pm
Thanks for the "notes," I will adjust... and I am glad you have read the response with it's double intent.
Oh yes, I picked up on it instantly. Your first try -- most effective
mmhmm...
mmhmm...
21st Dec 2015 10:40am
Congratulations on crafting a poem that encompassed both the mental and physical dimensions of sex.
1st Jan 2016 9:39am
