deepundergroundpoetry.com
Aching for you
Mischief in your eyes,
gazing deeply in you,
you make me feel so in love.
Baiting me with your allure,
softly pinning me to the wall,
raising my skirt,
your reaching under to rip my underwear off.
I love the way you touch me,
this electricity you send inside me,
I'm attracted to you,
like a moth to the flame.
I am dying for your fondling,
grope me away,
sighing with your stirring moans,
Your mastery is magnificient,
our skins rubbing against each other,
I love the way you pull at me,
sliding your hands on me,
I'd definately let you do dirty things to me.
Press against me,
come much closer,
I don't want you to go just yet.
Naked bodies,
our heat makes our passion bubble,
I want you to kiss every inch of my body,
I'd let you do whatever you wish,
as long as you love me purely.
My pleasure is beyond my control,
letting it all go,
I'm officially yours,
and you are mine.
Just one more touch,
you make me scream inside,
my inner mind wants you,
just to taste you,
you and I,
together,
I think this love will burst.
Aching for you,
the way you move around me,
the way you reach inside,
ohh gosh.. my fertility will be aroused in such tenderness,
the capacity of your affection makes me uncontrollable,
just take me in,
just take me... in...
I love this craze in me,
I ache for you.
Published 12th Dec 2015
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The author encourages honest critique.
12th Dec 2015 4:51am
I like this..lots of good stuff and good potential. Think if you stick to one metaphor or theme...a follow through of story...first two stanzas..he turned you on you raized your skirt...then..
You stayed willing...
Just some development..you have natural ability. Read around and check out how others follow through..you dont just wanna be hot..you wanna be good.
This is not a bad review...i will def read you again. I read and read and learned when i first came here..pun.intended.
Good luck and welcome!!
Calamity of Jennifer
You stayed willing...
Just some development..you have natural ability. Read around and check out how others follow through..you dont just wanna be hot..you wanna be good.
This is not a bad review...i will def read you again. I read and read and learned when i first came here..pun.intended.
Good luck and welcome!!
Calamity of Jennifer
12th Dec 2015 5:43am
Oh thank you so much for the review! :)
I'll be working on it :) haha, I do read lots of work haha. But I always try to improve, thanks! Hopefully my other poems I post will be good for you. I have plenty of erotic poems I've written in the past and currently even now.. that I will be posting on here in the next days.
I'll be working on it :) haha, I do read lots of work haha. But I always try to improve, thanks! Hopefully my other poems I post will be good for you. I have plenty of erotic poems I've written in the past and currently even now.. that I will be posting on here in the next days.
12th Dec 2015 6:24am
Anonymous
13th Dec 2015 5:16am
Nice write..Miss Tiramisu.. you've got a lot of promise.. nice phrasing.. much respect..
Dave
Dave
