Closing Down.

How can it possibly be this easy
for careless words to leave your lips?
They leave me feeling so queasy,
bent over double in searing pain...

I tell you that I miss you as a confession
of how much I find myself attached to you,
and I was made to believe it was safe to do so...
instead I'm only reminded to be just a little more careful.

I don't want to know that I'm simple.
You don't miss me because you've done this before?
I want to know that I'm, that we're, different,
because my plans never involved walking out your door.

I've been made to think I'm just a game played one too many times,
and you've somehow managed to master it perfectly,
and it makes me feel dirty-
just another round to go.

So let me explain this to you:
You are new to me...
Sure, I've left home before and been touched before
but you made it different.

You made it better than before,
made me realize there could be a deeper kind of attachment
that only true love tends to bloom from...
but you've been making this experience not so easy.

With my feelings out in the open
there's a rising potential for hurt much greater than before.
I just can't understand why you can hurt them so easily
and it's been making me very uneasy.

"I guess it's just easier for me because I've done this before."
Reading in between the lines,
Easier for you, plus not easy for me equals I must just be weak.
You've done this before equals that I'm only another notch in your belt.

I want you to be vulnerable with me the way I am with you.
I want to know that us is not anything close
to your past relationships and the night feels so ruined
because I don't want to speak, I only want to be mad.

So I'll make your face disappear,
make you so from from near- to me
and that way its so much easier for me
and I can say I win because my heart is no longer quite so open.