Loveless life

I am in love
In love with a man
That knows not of my existence
A love too platonic, I shiver with the thought
I am in love, the love is persistent.

But the man I love hasnt the faintest idea
A dewdrop in a thunderstorm
I am the unfortunate forgotten

What value does a drop of dew have?
When a flash of gushing rain
Eliminates the mere meaning of its existence

Like a shadow in a room without light
I silently carry on my relentless fight
Of not being seen, being over-looked at

But what will a girl do?
When neither intelligence nor beauty does her good?
How does she even deserve to think

Of a man who is clearly no where near her radar
I am in love. But I don't deserve to even like.

I try to act a little mature
Try to look a little pretty
Maybe from the corner of his eye
I appear to be a bit friendly?

What am I? My reason to live I question
When someone I love, someone I would die for
Is my worst enemy. My murderer

And every day I see his face
A part of me gets thrown away
Away into the echos of the mind

Away into the concentric circles in time
And that pain is something I live with everyday

But it is not his fault.
He never asked me to love his heart
How can I be angry or mad or gloomy or sad?
How can I blame him? He doesnt even know who I am

But the heart. I curse. My heart is cursed
She is a reckless fool
But she endures pain that can't be understood

So I search for new love
But how can I fool the utterly fooled
How can I trick the heart to faulter

And I think to myself
Who would ever love this person insane?
Maybe in another life
When I don't have to go through this strife

Maybe the day I am confident, smart and accomplished
In a parallel universe. Or in an unreal spell
I will be a deserving candidate to another heart

And I will nurture the heart with my love
For the past pain will be ringing from inside
Will be a constant reminder

The pails of blood from a broken heart
Will never be enough to compensate the pain that is masked

No other living heart deserves this agonizing death
Where life is available but love is dead
No other soul. No matter how brutal it may be
Should go through the sorrows that went past me

I see you everyday. But you are dead to me
I need you to be dead for my heart to beat
But even when you are dead,the heart still loves you
And it will forever love you for the person that is you