Broken Toys

I wish I could believe you
but my ears hear "lies,lies",
I wish I could trust you
but my heart beats deceit,
I wish I could love you
like you deserve to be loved
but my mind won't cooperate,
it can't push my demons aside
so I cry,
you don't understand,
and it's not your fault
you've put up with more than any man,
you yell sometimes
and I fear that it will be the last time
that the things you say in anger or frustration
will be the last words I'll hear,
my mind knows it would be best if you'd go
but my heart breaks for even thinking so,
I'd give everything, pay anything
to change how I am,
to be your only
like you're everything to me,
but I'm broken
I deserve to be thrown away
like all other broken toys,
useless to deserving boys.