Solitary

Living in four walls
is where I belong
I don't need comfort
because my anger is my despair.

I struggle to maintain my placid manner
Everyday is a battle and I am waiting
I'm waiting for the day when I start a war
When the war starts all the chains break
and the beast is let loose.

These four walls separate my peace and anger
Without these walls I would be utterly enraged
No one would be safe not even me
I struggle to hold myself together.

Each day I hurt myself for not letting go
and it builds more and more.
One day someone is going to get hurt
and that is the day when I feel conquered.

I am calm and collected in my walls
this is where I need to be
where no one cannot see me
These walls will never break
because I do not wish to become a monster.