To My First Love

I'll be honest. I miss you and there are nights where I miss you too much. On those nights ill sit in the dark and think about you.
Not just you but us and oh how I wish I could go back.  I'll think of all the moments I held dear because you were in them. Some of the greatest times in my life Now only bring me pain and I can do nothing but let that tear drop roll down my face.
I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't want it back trust me I still love you. We talk all the time and we're pretty good friends. But nights when we talk about the old us it makes me sad. Not just because it reminds me Ive lost you but also because I realize then I've lost myself too.
With you was the last time my smile and laugh of happiness we're genuine sure I still laugh and smile Now but it's almost meaningless. When I think of us I don't know if I should smile because the time we shared or cry because it's over. Often ill think of where I went wrong or how I could've saved us if only I had tried harder.
You're Happy Now and that's all that matters you've since moved on. I can't help but wonder if you have the same thoughts I do or if you remember the moments I hold close to my heart. Would you take me back? Do you still love me how I love you? So many questions I want to ask you.
We both know I'll never ask them because I'm a coward. Instead I sit here and I write ill write till my hand breaks if only it stops the pain of missing you.
Nothing matters anymore. I always said I'd die without you and now I wish I had because the pain I feel is too much to bare.
I thought you were my world but after I lost you I realized you were my universe. Now without you I am Just drifting through space waiting for an end that never comes.
I always hear "home is where your heart is" and if that's true I fear ill never return home. So I'll just float through this endless void of sorrow till my time has come....