Questions in a broken mind

Why is it that all I wanted was you and all you wanted was her
My life felt awesome everything was a blur
The good, the bad, and even the ugly too
You said it would always be just me and just you
I thought we were going to be like Romeo and Juliette
Trying not to love you but got caught in your net
You said that we'd be like Bonnie and Clyde
But all I really should've done is hide
You said forever and always just me and you
That our love would go down in history books to

Why did I fall for you oh so very hard
And why didn't I bother to hide all my cards
I folded the minute you laid eyes on me
While you heard me pour my heart out like a symphony
Maybe I was just blinded by your love
Or maybe a spell was cast from above
You said that our love would go on  forever
That it would last through anything no matter the weather
Or didn't you mean that when you gave me that ring
I remember the day because it made my heart sing

Because it was you who wanted me as your one and only
But then I guess is when you got lonely
Me working all day just to support us
You sitting at home wanting to abort us
Maybe that's the reason we fell apart
Because I asked you to try when she had your heart
I wanted to go on forever like you said
But maybe our love was all in my head

I didn't know that when I hit the bottom
I'd watch you move on and I'd be forgotten
Trying to help out as best as I can
Wishing that you were still called my man
The one I laugh with now and forever
Through thick and through thin we would always be together

But now I see when I gave you my heart
You were so far gone it tore me apart
But my love I'll still confess
I'd do it again even though I'm a mess
If love is a game that I'm going to lose
I'd rather have the one that wins be you

But now the table has turned and the cards are reshuffled
I've beaten the odds my thoughts can't be muffled
Wanting you back is the very last thing
In my stupidity I accepted that ring
The one that you said meant always and forever
Even when I knew we would one day sever

That bond that took so little to grow
I wonder sometimes when did I know
That you had fallen for somebody else
And I was just to be put up on the shelf
To be taken down and played with whenever you wanted
Seeing you two together felt like being haunted
We grew further apart the more you two did bond
I knew then I wasn't as fond
My feelings grew weaker, my thoughts grew guarded
I sat and wondered when I'd be discarded

You thought I'd stay no matter the cost
I threw you away when I knew that I'd lost
I then stopped fighting and fell apart
Because I knew you'd stolen my heart
And I knew that then I'd never have it returned
My heart was broken and my throat burned
With all the words I was longing to say
But knew they'd get twisted around some way
Maybe it was just all my fault
That my face ended up covered in salt
The salt from all those tears I had shed
That night when we both were laying in bed

You told me the truth that you had tried so hard to hide
Your feelings had been gone it was me you despised
You tried to deny it I know that now
But even then I had known always how
You snuck out late on those cold dark nights
To go with her somewhere far out of sight
You didn't know that night I had awoke
To find you gone with no trace of a note
I was upset didn't want to let it show
Even through my mask they all did know
And they all saw how it made me cringe
Because I knew then it had to all end

I stayed there even through all the shit
I knew I shouldn't but couldn't just quit
I tried so hard every day to make it alright
Looking away from what you did every night
Because I knew you texted them as I slumbered
You'd lie there awake I was only a number
You'd talk to them about how you truly feel
No more emotions for me not one that was real
I wonder then why didn't I leave
Instead sneaking out to climb up that tree
The one that I'd think about all I could see

The things I denied to myself I now know
That night when I went there that rope in tow
You couldn't guess then but now you know
I was going to climb up to the very top
And do what I thought would make the pain stop
Hanging myself seemed like the best
It was the only way I could see out of this mess
As for that night when I got to the tree
Something seemed off but not something I could see

When I climbed up to the top a voice I did hear
One that I once held oh so dear
I thought to myself I'm not so alone
I've got my friends that are far from home
The spirits around all day and all night
The ones that helped me see the light

I'd ignored it all hidden in the dark
Made me want to just fall apart
I cried that night up in that tree
Knowing then that you'd never see
The love that I felt now and then
Makes me hate what happened again

I know myself that I was true
Never once did I lie or be as cold as you
When you told me that night that it had been a while
Since you felt that spark and I made you really smile
Yes you said those three little words that then made me smile
But you only said them once in a while

You'd say those words even though
Those weren't the feelings you wanted to show
They were words to say that weren't even true
Now I know I was nothing to you