Crossed Intention

I watch the darkening sky
As clouds or grey roll in
And block the sun from my world.
An unsettling cold sinks in
Leaving me frozen from inside to out.
Any warmth that was left vanishes
When I see the surprise you've left.

I know your intentions are pure.
The harm goes unseen by you
But to me it screams volumes,
Pounding from deep within my mind.
Blinding red rage obscures my vivion
So I don't see my hands balling,
My fists raising high.

But I feel them crashing down.
I lash out words meant to hurt you
Turning something so sweet and innocent wrong
Is only a task I could perform.

My own conflictions bear down on you
I chastise and chide your actions,
Your disregard for others
And in doing so I transform
Into the deepest black shade
Of a kettle or a pot.
Take your pick and I'll mirror you.

Apologies rise in my throat
And I swallow them.
You should have known,
You should have seen
That I'd be left with hammering questions
From inquiring minds.
But you never think
Of any but your reflection.

And until you do, dearest darling,
I can't even begin to consider the affections you offer.
Until you do I'll let this reason
Top a long list of excuses
For me to softly break your heart.