Despair

Sleep brings no relief,
only endless dreams waking up
realizing that my dreams
have followed me into reality 

I am not loved anymore
I have reached my shelf life
"best before 5 years" must
be stamp  on my heart 

I have no concept anymore
of human touch and tenderness
I lay at night hugging myself
as close as I can get to being held 

I started to build a wall to
try and keep sorrow out
It has not worked,
instead no one talks to me or care for me
or act even remotely interested in my life,
lending further to its meaninglessness... 

I have became a spectator of my own life
I am present but no here, no longer part of it.
My heart is a black abyss slowly killing me
nobody care enough to see, to help 

I spend days, nights, weeks alone
Going over every little thing in my mind
contemplating the release into nothingness
freedom from a life with no joy or purpose, no love.
No longer a spectator.
No longer here...



Edit Version of "Despair" (credit to Jamie Townend)

Sleep brings no relief,
only endless dreams
that follow me here.

I am not loved anymore;
my shelf life has expired.
I have no concept
of human touch or tenderness;
I lay in my own embrace
 
I started to build a wall
to try and keep sorrow out
It has not worked.
Instead my heart is an abyss
slowly killing me, but
nobody is here to see
or to help  

I contemplate the release
into nothingness:
freedom from a life void
of joy and purpose.
No longer a spectator.
No longer here...