shadows of the past

no matter how much my future screams in my head
all i can hear is the voices of a dark and mysterious past
seeing a smile on my face that can never be erased from my memories
that blood stained face of my demon and his laugh echoing in my mind
a laugh that i never want to do again to keep me sane and sound
the knife he wields cuts through to my heart as my own suicide
only one person but my past became half of me, half of a monster
looking at myself seeing who i was and who i am today as if i'm a memory
reaching out gripping my own heart yet no matter how much i yell it's quiet
feeling the burning of my past emotions and my own actions
feeling the blade from my own knife hitting me and him
hearing his laughs as he enjoys it as im trying to yell in pain
but quicly as it turns to anger i feel my past coming back to me
and the monster being broken free on the rampage he never finished
how long until it stops and i can get control of myself again...