Loss

"damn mama , i mean dear mama
recently ive had to face my worst fears mama"
tears fall like rain drops
and i been prayin to god
askin "when will the pain stop"
but latley he aint been respondin
and my cries for help seem more and more constant
could it be that this time god cant save me?
thats when mama said; "damn boy you crazy"
the good lord may have brought you all this stress
but in the end he gon show you that your blessed.
"but why mama, why my pops have to go!?"
"dont question god , son , somethings we may never know ."
but answers like this, i found so unacceptable .
i figured god to be way more reputable
left the church for a while in denial of reality but then
i realized, this could only be the DEVIL combating me and we've fought before but now I'm more than a bit fatigued
i feel like one lone soldier
being attacked by an army in all red fatigues
.and it hurts to say it , but maybe its all good
since the lord doesn't Regret
only takes steps to correct or
enhance n advance
soo tho i may feel neglect
im gon straighten out my neck
poke out my chest
and show the world everything you've taught me to be

in peace may u rest