23 August 2015

I really, really don't feel like existing anymore. I'd love more than anything to escape, to another place or dimension, and at the same time I just want to lie in my bed until my thoughts die away and my lungs forget to breathe. I don't want school, I don't want to live out things that drain me everytime I think of them. I don't want to be alone every night. I don't want to not have someone to think of when I can't find anything to pray about. I don't want to not have someone I know I could always confide in, whether its about how I feel like dying or how I crave to connect on a level so deep it could save me and possibly break me at the same time. I don't want these songs to stop playing, so that I never have to wake up to silence in the middle of the night when there's no one beside me to hold me until I fall back asleep.