deepundergroundpoetry.com
SUICIDE
I place the knife
against me neck.
I turn my head
and now I'm dead.
Blood pours out
on the floor.
against me neck.
I turn my head
and now I'm dead.
Blood pours out
on the floor.
Published 7th Jun 2011
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likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 4
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The author encourages honest critique.
7th Jun 2011 7:30pm
7th Jun 2011 7:50pm
7th Jun 2011 8:28pm
This poem is a little flat for me. Yes, it has images, but I have no feelings or thoughts to relate to. In truth, it reads more like a journal/diary entry.
It would be nice if you could describe or at least give a hint as to what's going through the mind of the "victim".
It would be nice if you could describe or at least give a hint as to what's going through the mind of the "victim".
8th Jun 2011 8:35am
I really feel this is a good ending to a poem but feels too short..no background or history. I agree with DB about wanting to know the mindset of this person..
