deepundergroundpoetry.com
Heart Made of Black
I don't think you know how painful this is.
Its eating me up from the inside out.
It drinks my blood and replaces it with doubt, uneasiness, and pain.
All I want is you, but you have no clue how many times i've died on the inside.
There is no love only lust, hatred and pain are a must.
To see you sit there and smile kills me inside.
To know that my pain was from your fucking game.
Now watch as I bleed myself dry.
In pure terror I will die.
Just watch as I bathe in my blood.
Will it have changed you, or will you always be the same.
I beg this night will make her a believer.
Its eating me up from the inside out.
It drinks my blood and replaces it with doubt, uneasiness, and pain.
All I want is you, but you have no clue how many times i've died on the inside.
There is no love only lust, hatred and pain are a must.
To see you sit there and smile kills me inside.
To know that my pain was from your fucking game.
Now watch as I bleed myself dry.
In pure terror I will die.
Just watch as I bathe in my blood.
Will it have changed you, or will you always be the same.
I beg this night will make her a believer.
Published 7th Jun 2011
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7th Jun 2011 12:15pm
I really liked how you personified pain by saying that it was drinking your blood. And I liked how you said that it replaced it with doubt and uneasiness because, since blood is the sustainer of life, it showed just how much this had enveloped you.
I would suggest though that you remove the word pain from the third line, only to make sure you don't become repetitive. But overall very powerful! Thanks for the read!
~Midnight
I would suggest though that you remove the word pain from the third line, only to make sure you don't become repetitive. But overall very powerful! Thanks for the read!
~Midnight
