I'll see you in hell

I danced with the devil and I won
Don't think that I'm not haunted
That I don't hunger for your oblivion

It still calls to me
And this midnight resolve
Of chaining myself to the bed sheets
Doesn't make me better than you

It just makes us different

I wish I could be all that you are
In your beautiful mess
You make destruction look like
An art form
I make it look a silent explosion
... Of nothing

I am silence and lies
And barbie doll smiles
No one will ever mistake you
For something you're not

In this silence I still
Want to be something I'm not
Something both more and less honest
And perhaps its strange
To think that I'd envy you
In your trapped freedom
But don't think for a second I'm free
In my grandiose illusions
Of sanity

I'm not so sure this place is a sanctuary
Some days I am okay with the lucid
Overwhelming nothingness
And some days I'm not

So if you can forgive me false perfection
I'll forgive you for walking away

I danced with the devil and I won
But don't think for a second
That I'm not haunted
Or that I don't still hunger for your oblivion

(c) Indie Adams 2015