Forever Lost Letters

Dear Mom and Dad,

Ever since I was little you've shown me what life is, you've taught me how to survive in the world, what to do if a strange man comes up to me, how to protect myself, all the basics for a little girl living in a cruel world. You were always the ones to be by my side when I was sad, angry, scared, or happy. You never left. As I grew up, I noticed myself being sad most of the time, but for you I faked a smile because I can't let you suffer with my problems. You've done a lot for me, you spend a lot on me. During late nights when the shadows in my mind come out to play, I never bother you with what my mind tells me to do because you're busy taking care of me. Why should I stress you out even more? As I grew up, I started showing less affection towards you. Not because I'm a teenager and too cool to love their parents, but I just felt awkward hugging you or saying I love you. And I noticed in your eyes that you saw the change in me too. I never addressed it because I don't want to be caught up in an emotional conversation that would make me spill out all my pent up late night confessions. I'm scared of what you'll think of me when you find out I'm not as happy as you once thought of me. But I think the reason I can't show you my love, is because I can't show myself love. But please don't worry about me. I love you guys, even when I don't say it, I'm screaming it from my rooftop for everyone to hear, I just can't admit it. I hope one day I can, and see your smile grow. And once that day comes, I'll finally know I love myself.