Out of Reach

Am I not good enough?
Could I be crazy,
insane?
For ever trusting
that I wouldn't get hurt this time.

Am I not good enough
for your rich family?
Your perfect life?
How can I ever learn to trust 
when you shit all over me?

I didn't mean to be crazy,
it's hardwired into my brain.
I know it hurts you,
it hurts me too.
But, I can't believe 
that you refuse to understand.

All that I've been through,
everything I'm still suffering,
you throw it in my face.
I just don't know how to handle it,
and I don't know how
to give it to you.

I thought you were my knight in shining armor,
but it turns out you were not mine to have.
Is she prettier than me?
Smarter? Funnier?
This hurts me more than you can comprehend.


Holding on is never good,
but it seems I just can't let go.
I'm all alone in this world,
and it just doesn't seem fair.
Sometimes, I just want to
disappear. 


Also written a long time ago, I just found it on my computer.