Trust

A seething bundle of rage, jealousy and paranoia
Twitching fingers against the shrieking sheets I choke.
Ruffling my hair in vice like fists,
Splitting my lip with clenched teeth,
Suffocating my thoughts with the pillow,
Breathless comfort.
Decaying brain, all too human
Malnourished heart pumping unwanted blood,
Yet skin still wrapped up tight,
It would be fine if it were all mine.
But free will?
Not something I can tolerate so easily,
Be consumed by me,
I want to see what I make you see in those eyes.
Not the thoughts of others, opinions,
Personalities stripped of originality
Tedium and routine?
The signature marks of society.
Isn't it a land of opportunity
One which we can fight for,
Or fight about.
A reason to stress, scream, shout
Settle down, take a few breaths
Try our hardest to forget,
Then doubt if it's even worth our while
Before satisfying a bed time smile.
I'm all out of hope for anything more.
In love with a lover who might just love the life I hate
Take me away to a boring place,
In a boring world with a boring race,
All rushing for momentary fun in the boredom game.
Hide your bored face and start moaning,
Show your whore face and keep groaning,
Now drop your cum face and get going,
Lips still moving passionately yet droning,
Bring back the bored face and start moaning.
Every person she encounters I name frustration.
Flirtatious perpetrators of what I'm supposed to ignore,
Cheeky glances, promising answers, loose hands
Batted lashes, Flattered dashing, trends fan,
A day of compliments to the ashes growing in my tray.
Powerless control freak burning skin,
Fantasizing about killing the walking reasons for her smiles.
Wondering when the images of other men
Surrounded her vision in my head,
Avoiding their distraction to halt the tears of either.
Without trust or faith I believe her
Yet can't help but feel a deception
Though I know it's not true it stifles each erection
The thoughts of intrusive inception,
From those out of my reach yet within hers,
Seen as within her.
Bloodied streaks on the wall at her side,
In my mind
All around her dies,
She becomes the unknowing bringer of death
Forever to cry
A possession of mine.
Growing murderous beneath the sheets
I condemn us all
In my selfish greed,
I can barely see through the disturbances,
Though I've been working at it.
Maybe in different circumstances
I'd have been locked up already.