closer to home

looking deeper into the depths
I'm aware of the dark
surrounding my essence
weveing and spirieing into
the outer surroundings of my
iggistance,
the insides of my mind shape shifting
into my days
bright morning reflection
dreams driving depression
holding myself like I'm
everything i lost
time gos on
decay takes hold
core temprituses become cold
i cant go back
to mistakes i made
without my heart falling apart
i would give up this entire world
just to tell you I'm sorry
truly feeling empty remorse
as i continue this dead end course
one sided memories
one way emotions
one direction conversations
unseen
unknown
if i died tomorrow
I don't think you'd notice
I'd drop a letter in your grave
with a continence that would have me committed
locked up as insane
I've spent the last decade
trying not to smile or cry
every time i just wish we could talk
it takes a long time to make music sometimes
because I'm bissy dreaming about it
waking up and thinking about it
siting down standing up pacing back and forth looking at it
crying about it
it fucking hurts to face the truth
hurts evan more when theirs nothing you can do
exapte manifest the pain in to the world
and hope it finds you
gets under your skin
and you cant forget about it
until you finally reach the point were you have to do
something about it
but that wont happen
you have a exponential mind
you know what there is to find
shit will just rewind and repeat
but your wrong I'm different
i had a lot of growing happening
with all this time we didn't speak
the thought of you makes me week
facing the truth
I'm a fucking freak