to my defense confession

Words of request  
to my defense confession    
pain is for the best    
it spreads imagination.    
     
Speaking mandatory lies    
screaming but there is no voice    
every minute my soul dies    
I can't make a fucking choice.    
Prayers for a whitish dust    
social striving to adjust.    
Maybe God keeps a constant eye    
on every thought and every crime    
Maybe I will sleep tonight    
or maybe I'll keep on the fight    
Either way the sun will shine    
and burn this fucking pain of mine.    
     
Can You hear me plead and beg?    
Superior power I need your help.    
If it rains, it means You care,    
seeing bad omens here and there.    
I have a simple little request    
I wanna live but I wanna rest    
You know I'm afraid to say goodbye    
but I need a reason why should I try.    
     
I'm not devoted but I'm true.    
I faced death. Was I saved by You?    
I feel different, am I cursed?    
     
You are alive therefore you're blessed