Dear almost forever

Sometimes when I'm alone I think of how great everything could of been. Sometimes I wish that you would have listened to me. I wish you would have gotten help. I know what it's like to not know where to turn and need guidence. I know even more that it's hard to admit that. I just can't believe that after all those years of us fighting for this to work , you would just give up and it wouldn't be so bad but you didn't give up on us you gave up on yourself and to me that is worse because all i ever wanted for you was for you to find happiness I wanted you to be content. Sometimes I just wish that I would have been the one to make you happy. I Loved you ... I love you still. I'm not in love with you now, but I still think about you. I just ... I just loved you so much. So much more than I was ever able to tell you. I had an amazing time in the 6 years we were together and I would never change it, not for the world , you have made me strong and you taught me that i need to find confidence. you have made me who I am to an extent . I mean I grew up with you , I don't have a ton of memories before you. I miss you so much especially when I think of how great it would of been if we worked out our families got along , my brothers adored you. I just don't understand how everything got so complicated. I just wish you could of seen how in love I was. You were everything to me .... everything