Used

Back in the hot water together,
I ducked under,
For a moment,
To rinse the rain from my hair,
In the warmth of the spring.

When I surfaced,
She’d left the pool,
With two others,
Looking like her,
A daughter?
A granddaughter?

I sighed.

Pulled myself out of,
The hot spring,
To dry in the not really warm,
(After the rain)
Air,
In the afternoon sun,
Before pulling my clothing from,
My pack,
Dry,
I hoped,
To dress,
And hike,
Back to my car,
Parked on the other side,
Across the valley,
Out of sight,
Around that hill,
Over there.

On the other side of the brush,
Behind me,
I could hear,
Three voices,
Women’s voices,
Talking.

A young one,
Said,
“Gram,
How could you let,
Him do that to you,
Right there,
With all those,
Other people?”

I recognized the next voice,
It had,
Earlier,
Whispered,
“Thank you,”
To me.

“Let him?”

“No.”

“There was no letting him.”

“I led him to it.”

“I knew that if I hung on him,
Whimpered a little,
With the thunder,
Wiggled my pelvis,
Against his,
He’d start to rise.”

“Guys always,
Get hard,
When you rub yourself,
Against them like that.”

“They can’t help it.”

“That’s how they’re built.”

“I counted on it.”

“I smiled at him,
Told him I was OK with it,
If he was.”

“Hell,
I knew,
At that point,
He was more than
OK
With it,
As hard,
As he was.”

“I let him,
Put it,
Between my legs,
Where I could rub myself,
Along it.”

“It got bigger.”

“I got wetter.”

“And then,
With that big thunder clap,
I tilted my pelvis,
Shoved my hips against him,
Easy as as us talking here,
He was in.”

“Then it was me wiggle,
Until he got the hint,
Grapped my ass,
And joined in the fun.”

“It has been so long for me,
Since your Grandpa,
Your Father,
Dead these past 10 years,
That I was ready,
Almost at once.”

“Then I was there.”

“Then so was he.”

“After,
We just sort of,
Hugged,
Humped,
Our pelvis,
Against each other,
He stayed in me,
I was getting ready,
For another one,
When he pulled out,
Led me back to the spring,
Where I figured,
In the water.”

“Until,
When he ducked,
His head under,
You grabbed me,
Ready to leave.”

“I was about ready,
For a second one,
And I for certain sure,
Had him hard enough,
He was ready,
For another one.”

Their voices faded,
I looked,
They were walking,
Down the other path,
Toward where people,
Parked by the road,
It was an easy walk in,
For a soak,
In the hot spring.

 
I mentally,
Smiled to myself,
Thought,
Used,
She used me.

Almost dressed,
I tucked myself in,
(She’d been right,
About me being ready,
For a second one),
Zipped up,
Tied my boots,
Shouldered my pack,
A light one,
Day use only,
Would need to hurry,
An hour in,
Mostly downhill,
Mostly uphill going out,
On a rain slick path,
At least a couple hours,
Would get me to my car,
On the other side of the hills,
After dark,
Hoped the clouds might clear,
And there might be a moon.

She’d used me.

Mentally,
I shook my head,
Started walking.