Turn away

It is getting hotter and hatter
The futher I do the less people like it
They don't like God
They don't like it when someone blindly obeys him
Today I sold all of my games
For dirt cheap
Because I know I needed to abandon
To flee from the things that seek to bind
And it's hot
Oh so hot
I miss the world
And it seems to miss me
It tells me to come back
No one pushes me forward
But pulls on back
Trying to warn me I'm crazy
That there is something wrong with me
For 19 years I was going nowhere
In suffering pain
For nothing
Now I have something to live for
And it hurts
It tells me down is up and in is down
It hurts so much to follow
And people try to deture me
I try to tell them
There is something here
Something that really matters
But they all call me crazy
They don't know what to do
And some say they know more
And we all have our truth
And have such great
Fascinating stories
But why is it
They don't lead me anywhere
There's nowhere to grow
There's nowhere to go
Something worth living for
But not dieing for
Then they call me backwards
And somehow hateful
But I don't know how
And then there's the hard part
Myself
It just wants me to come to my seances
And find the nearest woman
And in her throw this away
And let myself go back
To beinning an animal
With no puposs
No control
Just desires
And satisfaction
I wish I could have
Both
But I can't
I wish I where crazy
But tears and emotions
They start from something
Understanding and insight
All have to come from a real place
So I carry on
Painfully so
With no reason
Beyond that foolishness I fallow
That says to keep going
That there is something
All the people of the world
Don't have
And that
It's worth the suffering