To Run Into The Road

I've taken up walking
It's a nice way to forget that I have to eventually go home

Sometimes I like to think that I could just walk and walk and never go anywhere
Never end up anywhere but just there
Just to go and see and observe and remember how small I really am
How my problems don't mean shit in the vast expanse of life and the world
And be ok with that

Forget about people and needs
Expectations and regrets
Panic attacks at the Olive Garden and the constant feeling like I want to rip the veins right out of my wrist

Just feeling like I'm there

I'm here and that's ok because here is better then there

I stare at the street I have to cross to get home
And there aren't enough cars to be able to hit me
But perhaps a well time waltz with fate and a distracted driver
And my death can be the pay out my family needs

I don't want to kill myself necessarily
But if tomorrow in the shrouding dusk that overlaps this desert
Said distracted driver plowed my small body
I wouldn't fight as hard to stay alive as some people would hope I would