Man Meets Beast

Another blacked out night
spent wasted and exposed,
lying on the bathroom floor,
robbed of my belongings,
my dignity and my self respect.
 
I almost broke her door down
trying to get back what was mine,
but the cops came knocking
and all I could do was let them in,
as I was escorted  
out of the building,
left to walk home alone at 7 a.m.
 
Some liers stick needles  
in their eyes,
yet I still can't recall  
if I stuck one in my arm,
since there was no blood or bruising
to tell of such a story, or self harm.
 
I couldn't think straight for days,
my unstable nights were filled
with thoughts of fear and regret,
a want to forget and a contemplation
of a combination,  
of revenge and suicide if I had  
enough strength left.
 
I didn't want to leave
the safety of my bedroom,
the bathroom brought back
the memory of waking
naked and used,
the living room locked  
and my sobriety in a state confused.
 
Maybe there was a lesson
to be learned, that I needed to curb
my drinking like a dog
on a tight leash,
train myself to remain a man
when all I've become lately
is nothing short of a beast.