Just friends

Will you kiss these scarlet lips and say "They're only mine." Hold me close every night until you know I'm fine? Let me be happy just being who I am. Trying hard to make me never frown. I'm asking for so much, expecting our love to be profound, when in reality our love will never be found. I'm just That girl, "You're a friend." that's all. I can never be more to you. Only a friend you say. Tell me what it is, I'll promise to make it change. Am I to ugly? Fat perhaps? Maybe a bit to needy, or to clingy at that, or maybe all along I've been to blind to see, it's not the way I look, but how I act mentally. Never enough. Push and pull. Never good to you. Letting my heart lead my soul into a black hole. You can't trust a boy with your heart, if he can't give his own, but even if he did yours is still made of stone. Not pure gold as it should be, like stated in the fairy tales. No long curly hair and skinny figure, these curves lead no where. Stop looking at me like that, like I'm saying this in vain. I'm telling you the truth, promise I am sane. I'm just unsure of what I want or if what I need is true. Does my heart truly wish to be with you? I'm tired of the pain, the numb feeling I'm cursed with. How can you love someone when you can't feel your own heart beating..