feeling

Breathing.
getting heavy.
my thoughts overwhelming me.
i stop to think.
the thoughts then take over.
not being able to stop myself.
cant help myself.
the marks start appearing again.
one right after the other.
deeper and deeper.
nothing stops until the pain comes back with them.
not being able to take it anymore i curl up.
tears fall.
one right after the other.
hands starting to shake.
not understanding why they came back.
slowly, very slowly.
my eyelids get heavy.
slowly starting to fall asleep.
the pain going away a little at a time.