deepundergroundpoetry.com
Sackcloth and ashes
In the depths of my closet
I was frantically fumbling for
the right one of
the many shades of blue
torn off the sky
when you failed to
bring me down the stars
and thoughtlessly promised
me the moon.
Once I found it
I saw it was faded
to a shabby shade of grey
like sackcloth and ashes
just as the relentless skies
above me.
The only one left blue
is me.
I was frantically fumbling for
the right one of
the many shades of blue
torn off the sky
when you failed to
bring me down the stars
and thoughtlessly promised
me the moon.
Once I found it
I saw it was faded
to a shabby shade of grey
like sackcloth and ashes
just as the relentless skies
above me.
The only one left blue
is me.
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likes 14
reading list entries 2
comments 26
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Sackcloth and ashes
Anonymous
30th Mar 2015 6:37pm
i've got several shades of blue hidden away in my closet as well. i guess i need to go and purge since they turn to grey.
nice write. sad and melancholy, but well constructed.
nice write. sad and melancholy, but well constructed.
0
re: Re: Sackcloth and ashes
10th Apr 2015 10:12pm
Thank you so much, Minerva! It is a bit sad but poems are a welcome possibility to express our hidden sadness, aren't they? So hurry up and preserve the shades of blue!
Re: Sackcloth and ashes
30th Mar 2015 7:01pm
re: Re: Sackcloth and ashes
10th Apr 2015 10:14pm
Re: Sackcloth and ashes
30th Mar 2015 7:04pm
re: Re: Sackcloth and ashes
10th Apr 2015 10:14pm
For the add to your reading list I'm very happy :-). And for your nice comment, too!
Re: Sackcloth and ashes
Anonymous
31st Mar 2015 7:17am
Seems like unfolding layers of your (old) self.A transformation of sorts...
1
re: Re: Sackcloth and ashes
10th Apr 2015 10:17pm
Yes, by hiding your old self it might fade away ... Thank you, Fay! Love your always meaningful comments!
Re: Sackcloth and ashes
31st Mar 2015 8:18am
re: Re: Sackcloth and ashes
10th Apr 2015 10:22pm
It is a poem I wrote in German and tried to translate it into English. That was hopeless and it sounded artificial. So I let it rest and polished it just recently, two years later.
Thanks for your lovely comment!
Thanks for your lovely comment!
Re: Sackcloth and ashes
Anonymous
31st Mar 2015 9:20am
There are always those snippets of reminders that linger around, long after they're gone.
This is painfully relatable to each and every one of us and I must say you've done a magnificent job writing it so beautifully.
This is painfully relatable to each and every one of us and I must say you've done a magnificent job writing it so beautifully.
1
re: Re: Sackcloth and ashes
10th Apr 2015 10:23pm
Hey Rina! Good to see you again! Thank you so much for your meaningful comment! So glad about it!
Re: Sackcloth and ashes
31st Mar 2015 11:22am
So skillful, Miss Chi. A wonderful write. "sackcloth and ashes" Brilliant wording.
1
re: Re: Sackcloth and ashes
10th Apr 2015 10:24pm
Re: Sackcloth and ashes
31st Mar 2015 2:55pm
re: Re: Sackcloth and ashes
10th Apr 2015 10:28pm
I think so, Lena! Once sorted out the palish shades of blue, we could try brilliant colors again!
Re: Sackcloth and ashes
31st Mar 2015 9:53pm
Heartache beautifully Miss chi
Last stanza concluded with a teary awesomeness.
Last stanza concluded with a teary awesomeness.
1
re: Re: Sackcloth and ashes
Sadsmiles, I'm sure you know quite a lot about sadness. Thank you for your lovely comment and thze add to your reading list!
Re: Sackcloth and ashes
31st Mar 2015 10:47pm
The title is a perfect fit of phrase and feeling. Blue turns to grey and we are lost. Lovely.
1
re: Re: Sackcloth and ashes
10th Apr 2015 10:32pm
Re: Sackcloth and ashes
1st Apr 2015 7:15am
I love the texture of this and how it weaves seamlessly from routine task to musings of the heart ...
It's amazing to think as one searches for that perfect blue you also realize what you don't need in that closet, maybe not even that promised moon ... just happiness.
It's amazing to think as one searches for that perfect blue you also realize what you don't need in that closet, maybe not even that promised moon ... just happiness.
1
re: Re: Sackcloth and ashes
10th Apr 2015 10:35pm
As always, your words are wise and understanding. Your ability of analysing is utterly distinctive. What a waste to keep the moon in a closet...
Re: Sackcloth and ashes
3rd Apr 2015 10:13am
A romantic dreamer slapped with a realization. "How did I get here?"
Amazing work.
Amazing work.
1
re: Re: Sackcloth and ashes
10th Apr 2015 10:37pm
Thanks a lot, forever_young! I'm glad you like it! Dreams are necessary. Buried dreams less helpful ...
Re: Sackcloth and ashes
28th Apr 2015 8:58pm
re: Re: Sackcloth and ashes
4th Jun 2015 2:13pm