High and dry

Forget this kid and his stupid shit
Mother fucker don't even see straight
Regret to sit here with sweaty arm pits
While I got them all suckered to thinking i don't hate
Repressed in my mind the very thought of even her tits
Every day wondering if this life is worth the wait
Obsessed myself with razor blades, smackin dope hit by hit

Tied the noose around my throat
climbed up and ended up chocking
lied out my teeth, I'm fine and i wont
Doped up and gnawed out on poppies
Family worried if I'm possessed by papi's ghost
keep telling the man in the mirror to act happy
friends notice I'm obsessed with all this coke, pills, and dope
Cut every nail except the pinkie since i was 13

Repress me, and express me
the man in the mirror, your only homie
never been so damn lonely even when I'm with my honey
never pulled enough money to make rent monthly
but i got high every minute after i knew i couldn't quit it

keep telling myself how far will i go
to be fake as fuck, flaked as fuck
can't seem to retrace my steps to find my mind
I know iv'e lost it, but that's just fine

It's been about a few months now
sober and over i feel in doubt
i find myself questioning just how
this depression keeps a hold of me now
the worst part is i don't know what to do or even how
no drug distractions left for my mind to arouse
not high but left dry
wondering, should i just die

so i keep asking myself the same two questions
with my suicide being my only obsession
should i just hit it? or quit it?