The Mask I Hide Behind

I hide behind a mask that is a smile,
I fake laughter,
So no one can see the truth,
When I’m alone
I cry,
I cry alone,
No one shall know.

I don’t feel anything other than the depression that plagues me,
It’s like a deep, dark hole that I cannot escape,
I don’t know how to escape,
How do I escape?

Memories are a constant reminder
Of why I feel this way,
Why I am this way,
I wish I could simply forget them,
But no matter how much I try,
I can’t.

I cut because it allows me to feel something,
Something other than the emptiness,
I hide the evidence under clothes,
The wounds are in places that are easy to be hidden,
I don’t want attention.
I don’t need attention.
I just want to be on my own.
That way I can’t be hurt like how I was before.