How Closer My Soul to Thee

It was amongst my darkest hours
The longest night had passed
Day's full rays burned my tired eyes

My guts burned hard with cramping pain
bending me in half keeping me awake
I never knew how long till the end

The shadow came and whispered soft
"You should tell her good-bye and
let her live with all the pain she made"
I didn't care and laid there waiting
but it handed me the phone and was
even kind enough to dial

Fitting her's be the final voice
the only voice I ever wanted
but seemingly cold and distant

The shadow watched calmly
sitting there with one knee over the other
suspended foot rotating slowly
I closed my eyes so very sleepy
her voice droned on like a bug in my ear
swimming floating weightless quiet

My soul of light walked towards my shadow
to merge and render each obsolete
but halfway blended something happened

ripping tearing all was ruined
shadow pulling fighting swearing
no longer quiet patient ready
slammed back down into my flesh
confused crying pleading denying
The shadow leaving with head shaking

I thought it came back two days later
my hospital room already dim lit
but all the meds I couldn't be certain

It's come and gone throughout my life
to see it now brings me no fear
for it knows just who's in charge

My soul not bright as perhaps once was
It's more like polished stainless steel
for in reflections shadows can't hide
but it's persistence never fades
It will be ready when that day comes
to melt into me and fade away

[Submitted in Monsters competition 2/28/15]