the eulogy of a convict

"The eulogy of a convict"            
                     My former self seems like a thousand years ago....evaporated into the ether like a hit of that indica smoke I jlike to blow....  Why do I keep selling myself short? I'm to tall to be that short. never again will I sell myself that short.... I hear your laughter, it vibrates through my soul. it empowers me, and I know I've paid the toll.... Why GOD did you give me so much potential? put a pad in front of me and said, "lets just see how far you can go pushin that pencil. Draw up the life you want my son only you have the power!"....For my family, for my family I will bleed, I will not cower, I will be there in your hour of need. See GOD I have the good intentions, not to mention I know I've tried... I'm trying to do good.... but I've grown up in the hood and there's  something that just makes me down to ride, but not tonight I've got Demons to fight and an Angel on my side........So this is a suicide note to my former self.....It's time for my past to die...I will NEVER forget where I come from it makes me the man I am and the man I want to be.... I've seen the sun rise while standing on hollowed ground and I've been down in the gutter, so it's time for me to stand tall and be the man my father raised me to be.... To those who know the truth , you know I've endured the bruises of a hard life , of hard time...., can you forgive me just one more time? and I might just surprise you this time.... So come to the funeral of an O.G. of the past me of the street kid, of the convict I used to be.... Come see my phoenix rise from the dirt and see the rose that blooms from my former self's headstone and cremated ashes.... and watch me blast past the rest of the pack and cash in on this potential....                                               the eulogy of a convict.. by j.c. Vazquez 10/6/2004..... P.S.  Rest in the peace I know you've been looking for. much love to harry murphy