deepundergroundpoetry.com
I'm alright to die
I just walk into the sun
Each step is fun and air is warm
I'm just another empty soul
I find a place in time
And every grind is just sublime
I'm alright to die
I'm alright to die
I'll be fine
I can take it all
I was blind
I smile and I often cry
About old times that pass the mind
I wish I could let go
It was the last bit of hope
I can't cope but I do know
I truly can
I'm alright to die
I'll be fine
I can take it all
I was blind
Each step is fun and air is warm
I'm just another empty soul
I find a place in time
And every grind is just sublime
I'm alright to die
I'm alright to die
I'll be fine
I can take it all
I was blind
I smile and I often cry
About old times that pass the mind
I wish I could let go
It was the last bit of hope
I can't cope but I do know
I truly can
I'm alright to die
I'll be fine
I can take it all
I was blind
Published 14th Feb 2015
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
14th Feb 2015 5:25am
Nice...I like it. Since you encourage honest critique, I'm loving the content but the write itself contains too much rhyme which pretty much takes it out of rhythm. e.g " I'm alright to die, I'll be fine, I can take it all, I was blind" . It has a point but cant reach it in total because of forced ryhme.
14th Feb 2015 3:18pm
Thank you for your criticism. I was forcing my rhymes to make the song structure weak cause after all all my poetry is music. The forced rhythm adds flaw leaving a feeling of weakness while the meaning of the song encourages strength.
