4am......again.

My head and my heart are on the same side
but even together from this need they can't hide

It's nobody's fault, there's noone to blame
it's killing me inside this unimaginable shame

Why can't I stop, just stop playing the game
but night after night its always the same

I try to ignore it but the urge is so strong
I make the decision I know is so wrong

The deal is done I try not to seem keen,
The worst of me showing, my desperation is seen

I keep going back, can't leave it alone
I know when it's gone ill be back on the phone


The black starts to slowly take over my mind, paranoid and restless, no peace to find

It's stronger than me it has the control,
it overpowers my mind my heart and my soul

All over again, to bed far too late, I'll see you tomorrow for another "fun" date

Hours have passed in the blink of an eye, I beat myself up and begin to cry

It's happened again, I hate what I've done,it's not what I want .....IM NOT HAVING FUN.