Beyond Control

emotions racing, overpouring in my chest
uncontrollable laughing, untamed smiling  
unleashed from their passive state-
those dark days of indifference
 
a disorder is apparent in the psychology of my mind
a memory awoken, a thought forgotten
a breaking, an uncaging
may be the cause of this overflow  
 
when i hold i can't stop holding
when i grasp i can't stop grasping
an obsession is settling at the seems of my conscience;
an incurable urge keeps growing like cancer from within