Four Years

Its been so long since you left.
I forgotten how you sound.
How you look. Who you are.
Ive changed so much.
Would you still love me?
Would you hate who I am?
Do I still look like you?
I can't tell. I hope I do.
Four years.
Fours years to the day.
I feel like I'm losing you a little more every day.
Losing your face.
Your words.
Losing the way you talk.
Losing more of you every day.
Four years.
I hate myself.
You wouldn't like that but its true.
Nobody knows but me.
In the blur of the painful memories,
What I remember most is that I never said goodbye.
And then you were gone.
And I felt nothing.
And nothing.
For a long long time.
For year.
Four years.
Damn, how time can pass.
Would you still be my best friend if you knew who I am now?
I'm losing you from myself.
I don't talk like you anymore.
I don't walk like you.
Or act like you.
I wish I did.
Maybe she would look at me if I did.
I wish I had said goodbye.
And that our last conversation hadn't been a fight.
You kept me safe.
You saved my life.
Four years.
Sometimes I'm still numb.
But when I see you, in a laugh or a smile.
I hurt so much.
I hate myself.
For years. Four years.
Damn how time can pass.