My Father's Monsters

My father,
whose best friends are monsters.
I don't know why he chose these friends of his.
maybe it's the demons in his head,
telling him he has no other choice.
I wonder what goes on in his head,
when it's filled up with lies.
does it hurt,
those lies add up to alot of memorizing
and maybe I'm not friends with his monsters,
but don't they eat at his brain?
How can you memorize so many half - truths
when your memory is wasting away in the hands
of so many monsters.

I can't help but wonder..
did he even think twice?
when he chose the monster over me?
over us?
Does he ever wish he didn't?
I'm not quite fond of his monsters,
but what if they are what keeps him sane,
or are they what are driving the sanity away.

I am very good at forgetting,
at not focusing,
at changing the channels
in what I call my mind
I tune out what I don't want to listen to.
I don't want to listen.
To the monsters scratching at my father's door
it's not like I can help him.
He has  made his choice.
But what if I tune out and he is crying for help
and i can not hear him,
do I want to hear him?
I can't help him.
He is going down a narrow path with only
one different ending,
Death.
It might not be soon
Maybe prison will be thrown back into the mix.
But it will happen,
if he doesn't
turn his back,
on the
monsters.

and knowing my dad,
he won't